Archive for the ‘Wigger Of The Week’ Category

Guest Blogger: Lady Half-Breed

August 30, 2007

 

Allo, allo, allo.

So who’s a lazy ho? …I’m a lazy ho.

I’ve had a whirlwind schedule lately, what with picking my nose and wiping the goobers on my wall after sharecropping all day. So my partner in all things fool is going to pitch in with her takes on life’s little foibles.

Presenting Lady Half-Breed!!

A few things:

 Lady Half-Breed’s mother is Kansas while her dad is from the Congo.

…Which brings us to point number 2: Lady Half-Breed is a tragic mulatto.

Homegirl is blogging from Detroit. Big up the midwest. Woop woop.

Remember all those posts when I was puking Sparks outside some starlet’s release party in NYC’s MPD? She had everything to do with that.

Her acid tongue sometimes makes me blush. So her writing will likely make your head explode. With goodness.

Have fucking fun!

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Wigger Of The Week: Travis Barker

July 3, 2007

 

These posts are usually on the “fuck all y’all!!” tip but Travis Barker’s wiggerness isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Hell, I’m getting a kick out of his splaboovian tendencies.

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Wigger Of The Week: Brian Austin Green

June 3, 2007

 

Dear Boys,

FUCK OFF!

Love,
Conny

Sorry, children, but that was so necessary. ‘Tis the season for spring fever to end and all the boyfriends (or boys you have been bonking if you’re a ho like me) to fade away and all us womenfolk sit around singing “Independent Women Pt. 2” and buying high heels to strut around in, you know, “in case” we run into that ex-boy at the club, on the street, in front of his building with a crate of eggs. You know, spontaneity. I guess I need, as my ghetto friend would say, a new boopiece. Although my next jump-off may just come out of a box from Japan with three vibration settings.

But one boy who will never waste my cotton pickin’ time is our latest Wigger Of The Week – Brian Austin Green. Boyfriend played David Silver on bratty 90s teen soap Beverly Hills 90210.

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Wigger Of The Week: Michael Rappaport

May 14, 2007

michael_rappaport-wegro.jpg 

Because we all know one. He was the poor Polish kid in the hood-ass high school shaving lines into his head and wearing $3 dollar gold chains. He was the annoying, schlubby kid always trying to get in the mix, foaming at the mouth and waving his one rap CD in your face. No matter how much you talked like a white girl, enjoyed fool ass ofay music or got played by Quintia and LaShawn at summer camp, in the end it was ok because you still weren’t a wigger. So I’m going to bid homage to the herbiest of the herb every week because I may be a blipster but I’ll never be a wegro. First in the ring is Michael Rappaport.

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