Archive for the ‘“I Was There” Files’ Category

You Can Find Me In The Club…

April 7, 2008

Or here:

This is my new column on GiantStep called The Resident. They have people with sticks who prod me into updating in a timely fashion so I’m less derelict here. Music, nightlife, goats, everything your heart desires…


“I Was There” Files: Chemical Brothers @ Hammerstein Ballroom

September 27, 2007


So, I’m gonna get real. I like The Chemical Brothers. I like Fatboy Slim, Bassment Jaxx and all those other big beat acts that made instrumental music to play in the background of 90’s scripted dramas that ran on MTV for one season.


Lady Halfbreed “Was There” Too.

September 22, 2007


The midwest has some lovely qualities to it. For one, you can actually see the stars at night. People are generally more down-to-earth and thankfully, a great deal less selfish. Oh and most importantly, summer in the city doesn’t smell like yesterday’s vomit. But I guess that where the fun ends.

Under the “this shit sucks list”, well, it’s the midwest. No tour ever really stops here. Chicago maybe, but lest you forget Detroit is the bastard child of the entire country. We’re on the same caliber as Balitmore, just slightly less hood, so I’m forced to wait for months upon months for a band that I am remotely interested in to grace us with their presence. That or drive the 6 hours it takes to get to Chi-Town. Either way, my response is boo.

Thankfully, Bonde Do Role came thru this past Thursday and let’s be honest, I might as well have been a pre-pubescent teenager at an Akon concert. I completely lost my mind.  


Live Blog: Down and Derby @ Studio B

September 16, 2007


I just want to say that thanks to my fancy grown people phone, I’m blogging live from Down and Derby at Studio B. Can I just say that the fact that I have time to blog from a party is fucking depressing.

I’m in line in a hot ass room with a bunch of American Apparel-clad bk, dick riders(myself included as I definitely bought spangled, gold hot pants specifically for the event.I’m a dorkus porkus).

I’ve blogged drunk before but this is like blogging from a coffin. Shit is mad hot and stupid…I kinda forgot why I’m here. Last time I came it was chill and rowdy and a bunch of cool kids looking for a drunken, rollicking roll around the block. But now, the shit is all corporate with sponsorship from URB, AA and other muhfuckas. I do see a boy who’s dressed absolutely perfectly in a leisure pants and a tight, patterned button-down unbuttoned down to there…

Either way, the music is whatever, I can’t believe I bought into this poser consumerism and making money sucks because you become so out of touch that you think things like a roller derby at a club can retain it’s luster after the first go around.

How sad that is.

UPDATE: It wasn’t that fucking bad.

People are on blast here

“I Was There” Files: Cool Kids @ Hiro

September 14, 2007


Here’s the thing. I love and hate Hiro. It’s a great concept: Take an upscale meatpacking bar and turn it over the most fabulous hipsters in the city who stand outside scowling and pretending they have real jobs while some instantly hot new dj collective spins the same medley of Daft Punk-Spank Rock-NWA randomness to a crowd soused with $4 Sparks. I mean, that’s what dreams are made of, no? No, is right.


“I Was There” Files: Macy Gray @ Webster Hall

September 14, 2007


Hey Chickenheads,

 It’s your lover calling. Don’t you just love you some Lady Half-Breed? Doesn’t she make coked-out hipster foolery just seem a little…cuddly? If only her splaboo-ass would make it back to the real world (what the fuck is the Midwest?) we’d all be dandy.


“I Was There” Files: Bobbito @ Private Park

September 14, 2007


It was a Monday night so I did my usual dance to Hudson Hotel to take in the latest Giant Step DJ event which was Bobbito spinning sets of my absolute favorite muh’fuckin’ music.


“I Was There” Files: Kanye West “Graduation” Listening Event

September 5, 2007


So bless Kanye for being a bougie ho. Homegirl went all out for this listening event for his third LP, Graduation at some rowdy studio complex in NYC. It was waaaay underground, like some fabulous bunker in the future where glitter is a weapon of mass destruction.


“I Was There” Files: DJ Spinna @ Hudson Hotel

August 29, 2007


Ahem. You’ll notice Conny is, uh…how you say…a lazy ho. I changed jobs (I’m no longer at McDonalds. I’m now an assistant manager at Burger King! Woo-fuckin’-hoo!!), I’m preparing to move (my roomate is a crazy stank-ass ho and she must be stopped), and I professed my love (he didn’t say shit back. Fuck his couch). So basically I’ve been a hot crankin’ mess.

But, we’re back.


“I Was There” Files: Daft Punk @ Keyspan Park

August 10, 2007


Yeah I was there and so was all of Williamsburg and LES (I wonder who was watching the borough…?). And it was an odd yet amazing mix of typical grungy-fingernailed, hipster children in short pants, random “white hats” and “ya-dudes” (in da bean, that’s what we call those awful Abercrombie frat fools who run around spouting “ya dude, so I totally banged ha mutha”), spicy Euro-trash (something about a man with nominal English skills and an astro-mullet makes my vagina giggle) and random shiny coloreds. I kept snapping my neck around at all the sharply dressed coloreds dotting the audience.