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Archive for the ‘Hip-Hop’ Category
Nola Darling. This is what happens when you have pussy. These girls are so extra untalented. They got a cute name, bubble behinds, long but still natural hair and lip gloss. So that means they got men willing to give up studio expertise for just a peek at the poon.
They do scratchy, tuneless ragga mixed with electro (because that’s the only thing anyone ever does!!!! GAAAAAHHH!!) with the grace of a paraplegic orgy. And they’re Haitian which is ok as long they can pass for Puerto Rican.
I just hate overhypeness.
You’ve been warned.
I didn’t want to, but I like Peter Hadar. He is actually worth the hype. He sounds like Dwele – let’s not pretend otherwise. And its cool to see one of those downtown guys with meat. He looks like a lumberjack with an MPC.
Although sometimes he seems too old to be dressing like he got up on the fucked up side of the Crayola box.
Planets, Painted, Purple Pill and Sleeping Pills will flare your nostrils.
But this shit is genius…
I”ve got a law degree…and I thank god for that…
So Musiq Soulchild bent over and wagged his asscheeks in the open air for the charts. How ghey. His new video “Radio” and his whole -fauxhawk-tight teans swagger is so 2006. And 2006 sucked.
It’s catchy (or something) but it’s not what you go to Musiq for. Stevie Wonder could make shitty emo but like, why? If you’re gonna fake a personality, at least make it provocative. He could channel a blinged-out, tanned Marc Jacobs. That ho’s got the crazy for real.
The world’s most believeable “straight” girl (ahem) Alicia Keys is doing this right with this right here – her School Daze homage “Teenage Love Affair”:
It be real cute and all but she ain’t touchin’ this here:
Now that’s how you wear a goddamn weave, rock a goddamn dress and ack sadditty.
So lately I’ve been spending a lot of time being edgy. I mean, that’s kind of a complete lie, but I want to make this next rant a bit more picturesque. So, during my recent edgy exploits, I’ve been hanging with a lot of underground, indie, hipster-hop, exclusive tastemaker type jump-offs. Scenester 30 year-olds in day-glo windbreakers who have health plans and end up looking ridiculous bouncing to Plastic Little at Hiro Ballroom. Just sadness.
I just want to say that thanks to my fancy grown people phone, I’m blogging live from Down and Derby at Studio B. Can I just say that the fact that I have time to blog from a party is fucking depressing.
I’m in line in a hot ass room with a bunch of American Apparel-clad bk, dick riders(myself included as I definitely bought spangled, gold hot pants specifically for the event.I’m a dorkus porkus).
I’ve blogged drunk before but this is like blogging from a coffin. Shit is mad hot and stupid…I kinda forgot why I’m here. Last time I came it was chill and rowdy and a bunch of cool kids looking for a drunken, rollicking roll around the block. But now, the shit is all corporate with sponsorship from URB, AA and other muhfuckas. I do see a boy who’s dressed absolutely perfectly in a leisure pants and a tight, patterned button-down unbuttoned down to there…
Either way, the music is whatever, I can’t believe I bought into this poser consumerism and making money sucks because you become so out of touch that you think things like a roller derby at a club can retain it’s luster after the first go around.
How sad that is.
UPDATE: It wasn’t that fucking bad.
People are on blast here
Here’s the thing. I love and hate Hiro. It’s a great concept: Take an upscale meatpacking bar and turn it over the most fabulous hipsters in the city who stand outside scowling and pretending they have real jobs while some instantly hot new dj collective spins the same medley of Daft Punk-Spank Rock-NWA randomness to a crowd soused with $4 Sparks. I mean, that’s what dreams are made of, no? No, is right.