Archive for the ‘Ghey & Lezzi’ Category

Taste The Rainbow

September 22, 2007

I used to wonder how Diddy could possibly fit in the closet? What, with all his velour Sean John jumpsuits and ghetto fabulous three piece ensembles? But then I saw this.

Guess he found a way.

Only next time I’d like to see him make it more believable. Shit, even those of us with mild retardation and snow blindness can see the gay just oozing out. To quote my damn self, he’s coming at you with a double sided dildo and some AIDS in his pocket so you better watch out. Plus, that shit probably smells like pine corns and dookie butter. No thank you Ms. Diddy. Try again.

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“I Was There” Files: Yo Majesty @ Studio B

June 27, 2007

 

Last weekend was Pride Weekend so the streets were littered with chintzy flags and chiseled fags. Small children were wearing rainbow bracelets which confused me no little. I mean do New York toddlers have a sophisticated awareness of sexuality or did they just like wavin’ around rainbows all pretty-like? I’ma stay prayed up that it is the latter…

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Lucid Dreamer Loves You

May 24, 2007

 

Hey gang! Many of you may know that when it comes to her love life, Conny is either a hot ass or a hot ass mess. So I ain’t got no bizzyness tellin’ naan y’all how to keep him at home, work the middle or get the spice back into the bedroom. I’m pretty good at anonymous make-out sessions and late-night text message wars but otherwise, you got me. (My girls, beautiful and racially ambiguous potential video-ho-esque they may be, are no better. Check out my girl Rehes’ perspective on why boys are poo!)

However, one of Conny’s friends does have his cotton pickin’ head on straight and he’ll be contributing as a love and relationship expert (by expert I mean, he doesn’t have any baby mamas or the gay cancer so I guess he’s alright). Children, bend over and receive Lucid Dreamer as he dishes on fool ass scenarios that Conny “readers” (some of them are clearly just me trying to get my life together) send over.

Dig in!

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“I Was There” Files: Loserville

May 1, 2007

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So, you may have noticed Conny’s been a wee bit derelict with the blogging. May I just say, that I have an excuse: I’m a lame-o. I think that should clear things up.

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Pass That Ghey

April 23, 2007

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Ooooh, chile, let the black woman hysteria commence! Get ready to fan yo’ self with yo hat, get yo’ neck roll and finger-snapping game straight, and start workin’ those lip muscles to spout “Holy Jesus!” every three seconds ‘cuz it is on!

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HOMOREVOLUTION!!!

January 24, 2007

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No chile, that is not no snarky blog euphemism or convenient word mash-up to describe a current event. This is a real tour. Homorevolution 2007 is a tour with all the hottest openly gay (cuz if we count closeted MCs this would just be another G-Unit and Cash Money funded soiree) rappers of the day including Deadlee and Delacruz. So, I ain’t ne’er heard of none of these fools but this chick Melange Lavonne (homo hottie in the wifebeater) could get it – you know, if her myspace pic isn’t a sham…which it most likely is.

Oh my gays have come out the closet with doo-rags and gangsta grillz and they’re trying to take back hip hop. I could make a whole bunch of digs about rainbow-striped timbs, Bareback Compton and voguing in the ‘hood but I don’t even have the energy. It’s all been zapped by the title: HOMOREVOLUTION!! VIVA LA HOMO!! Oh my Christ, that is the best title for anything ever. I’m gonna need a t-shirt. Oooohh girl, I can see them voguing in the parking lot of these shows like “who’s bad?!”

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Check out their MySpace (naw I ain’t on there yet, dirty cyber whippersnappers) http://www.myspace.com/homorevolution

Oh, those gays have got me going. They can come over to my house for Christmas goose anytime.