“I Was There” Files: Macy Gray @ Webster Hall

 

Hey Chickenheads,

 It’s your lover calling. Don’t you just love you some Lady Half-Breed? Doesn’t she make coked-out hipster foolery just seem a little…cuddly? If only her splaboo-ass would make it back to the real world (what the fuck is the Midwest?) we’d all be dandy.

So Tuesday night, I pretended to have a life and tagged along with my new girlfriend, we’ll call her Hop Along Kid, to the Brand New Heavies/Macy Gray show at Webster Hall. My black ass was late and missed the Brand New Heavies, mind you, not of my own volition, but because I changed jobs and I work at Splaboo Inc – Where The N*gras Get In Where They Fit In – so shit was late and I was here angrily pounding keys and frying up double cheeseburgers while the Heavies were giving questionably-dressed (there is no cause for seven year-old velvet muscle shirts – just no cause!!) acid-jazz heads, multiple orgasms.

Macy’s crack ass definitely had about 12 costume changes for a 500-person venue which is admirable but the scale of the hall kinda made you feel like you were watching ol’ crazypants Aunt Macy play dress-up-karaoke all drunky, drunky. She mostly played her new album which is good but the songs are a bit more intimate and her voice is more isolated on the record and therefore more effective. Otherwise, I can’t handle it. And plus, my skank ass is gettin’ old or mature or senile or something. I definitely left around 11 all heavy-lidded and ready to suckle the warm teat of dreamland (sorry, “falling asleep like a rock ho” just didn’t have the same ring to it).

I don’t know if this pic was taken at the concert but this is what she wore. Now that’s how you pimp a mic stand. That shit is so clean, I’m ’bout to dip my man’s penus in rhinestones.

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