Maybe Your Head Is MisShapen

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Once the quintessence of cool, those pouty trendsetters known to Downtown Manhanttanites as the MisShapes have been making dimly lit dive bars sway since before they became the inspiration of every fashion designer this side of the Billy Burg Bridge. Still, with a new coffee table book (um, accessory?) of their seemingly closest friends and an ever-growing ego that’s becoming increasingly hard to stomach, I can’t help but think that their parties aren’t the only thing becoming lackluster about the MisShapes.

I have never once labeled myself a hipster. I don’t like the phrase and frankly, I don’t care to. The last thing I want to do is start a discussion about what it is to be a hipster/how would you define hipsterdom, however, I think it’s important to understand the fine line the MisShapes have been walking between cool and really fuckin’ uncool.

Let’s take an excerpt from the latest interview with Leigh Lezark, the doe-eyed mascot of this so-called power trio. As seen in New York Magazine’s Daily Intelligence column, Leigh says:

 “If you’re wearing black pants and shaggy hair you’re automatically a ‘hipster’. I think it’s just as offensive as calling somebody ‘bridge and tunnel.”

Ok bitch, now I’m offended. At your lack of understanding what qualifies as offensive, that is. If someone calls you a hipster because you have black pants and shaggy hair, I hope you would just keep it movin’ with your day because isn’t that 10,000 times better than being called a sambo because you’re eating watermelon? I’m just saying.

Plus, bridge and tunnel isn’t all that offensive to begin with. When living in the city, I admit to having hated the influx of over-gelled, Armani sporting muscle men and their orange complected female companions but shouldn’t bridge and tunnel be the last thing on the list of “What’s Wrong With This Picture”?

Besides, aren’t we all getting a little too worked up what others think of us anyway? Whatever happened to the casual hipster? The hipster who was cool just because? It is no longer. Now it’s a matter of “what will that kid think of me I’m listening to the Bloc Party?” or “damn, should I rock these Chucks even though they aren’t worn in yet?” Stop it. If you’re taking hours to perfect your look, you’re frontin’ and nothing, absolutely nothing, is hip about that.

OH and not to mention, who does this bitch think she is? According to her, hipster profiling must be stopped immediately but homegirl hasn’t stopped to realize that it’s the hipsters who are running downtown Manhattan. Shit, they run most of the damn island! FUTHERMORE, if she wasn’t classified as a hipster from the get, there would be no coffeetable book, no potential clothing line, no advice column in Teen Vogue.

Ok wait. Let’s stop there. Yes, I did say advice column in Teen Vogue and this brings up another important point. Well two actually. The advice column is actually a sex column so could someone please explain to me why it’s ok for her to be giving sex advice to children? Secondly, if there is anything I know about hipster shit, it’s this- hipster set trends, but also beyond trendsetting (if that at all makes sense).

Without tryna put a label on shit what I know of a true hipster, one who deserves to be called a hipster, is that they are beyond the mainstream. They set their own trends yet refuse to follow the rest. When something becomes trendy, the hipster has long since moved on. And then there’s the MisShapes. The so-called hippest of the bunch. Are they really keepin’ it fresh anymore because as far as I’m concerned, the children have moved on.

Take their parties for example. Less than two years ago, they were the place to be but have you been to a MisShapes party lately? Have you seen the crowd? Its the same crowd that’s taking over the East Village- rowdy NYU students with hefty bank accounts and a closet full of Urban Outfitters. Who wants to party with that? Call me rude, but no thank you. I’d rather take my cheap ass back over MY bridge and kick it with some Balentine.

Now on the reals, their coffeetable book is alright. I can’t hate. It’s like a Last Nights Party without all the time it takes to download it and you might even find some pics of your friends in there (I definately saw a couple). BUT please be aware of what this is: a last ditch effort to inspire cool in those who are looking for inspiration for a boatload of fuckin’ cash. Wanna keep those nice Balenciaga bags on the shoulder of Ms. Lezark? Go on ahead. Wanna get those Choo’s on her feet too? Then by all means. But I’m gonna stick with what I believe is true: the forecast for the MisShapes is increasingly stale.

Call me hipster but I’m moving on. 

xoxo,

Lady Half-Breed

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3 Responses to “Maybe Your Head Is MisShapen”

  1. seshat Says:

    preach

  2. exclusivelyexclusive2 Says:

    I hate them, too. Well said Lady Half-Breed.

  3. connykate Says:

    They are what we in the academy call, jankity jank. Oh, and by academy I mean, dumpster.

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