“I Was There” Files: Kanye West “Graduation” Listening Event

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So bless Kanye for being a bougie ho. Homegirl went all out for this listening event for his third LP, Graduation at some rowdy studio complex in NYC. It was waaaay underground, like some fabulous bunker in the future where glitter is a weapon of mass destruction.

Ya boy definitely upped the “how-you-doin'” factor with blueberry, banana and strawberry smoothies mixed with rum and vodka. I had blueberry and strawberry in addition to the two drinks I had beforehand. Because of my active guzzling, I had to whiz every five minutes and I had a coveted seat near the front. Running back I had to pass by notable splaboos such as L.A. Reid, Andre Harrell, Steve Stoute, Bonsu Thompson (XXL), Laurie Ann Gibson, Mos Def, Consequence and that hispanic ho from 3LW/Cheetah Girls. And he definitely acted like this was his wedding, fucking passing out programs with the song lyrics with a section marked “Notes.” Yes, it was incredibly useful but still, a part of me is like, “GET THE FUCK OVER YOURSELF!!”

Sorry for yelling. Let’s just move on…

And of course he had to be extra, extra with ever-thang so instead of just playing the album and having us listen disinterestedly like civilized industry people, he plunked us down in front of a huge stage where he intro’ed the album (wearing a puffy vest in August…indoors…) then he played some nerdlinger videos that black kids ain’t really supposed to know about (gosh…is that…is that Pink Floyd’s “The Wall”??? I thought this was n*gg*r music!!!). But shit got awkward when they played the third track “Stronger” with some really, really, really graphic violent anime. We’re hearing that familiar beat drop and then watching a puss-laden machine gun morph from some bionic assassin’s abdomen. Then during “Drunk And Hot Girls” with Mos Def (and isn’t Mos Def supposed to reverse the level of foolery on your track? Why not just throw Flava Flav’s stankin’ ass on that shit?) we watched animated japanese vixens rub nipples and furiously go down on each other. Um…since most people were there with their co-workers, can we say, awkwaaaard.

So Kanyizzle’s joint is pretty much that kryptonite.  If you’re a Kanye fan. Homeboy doesn’t do that much different on his third LP and it’s very much like Graduation: Reloaded. I mean it’s totally fine and I enjoyed it. I really like “Flashing Lights” with Dwele and “I Wonder.” Some of the things I scribbled in my “Notes” section was “you did this two years ago. Why do you keep rhyming shit with shit!!” on “The Glory” and “leave his ass at home!!” when I noticed Chris Martin popped up on “The Homecoming.” Dude, rappers and Coldplay, like what the fuck? To me, that fool has all the street cred of lamb aspic but the kids love him. Nike must give out a free set of limited edition kicks with every Chris Martin feature or something.

For serious, I don’t really get why Kanye after all his accolades and success is sooo insecure. He kept dropping names like we didn’t know he was famous. He’s like yeah, I was hanging out wit’ Lil Wayne and Jay-Z and we was making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. That’s how good friends we are – we make sandwiches together. Like, homegirl, pull your weave back and take a Midol.

But I do have a wager on this whole 50/Kanye thing and I put Sparks money on Graduation taking it come Sept 11…

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2 Responses to ““I Was There” Files: Kanye West “Graduation” Listening Event”

  1. exclusivelyexclusive Says:

    Amen. Kanye all day!

  2. music lover Says:

    Great write up. You got me curious about his album. However, I’m def not one of his fans, not that he cares.

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