Some Next Next New New Type Ish

tattoo-crazy.jpg 

As a hyper-Americanized, wayward African youth it’s completely normal for me to understand “liberal American” things like tattoos and piercings. When I was 16, I went to some shady piercing spot and got my eyebrow done, only to come home to my dad saying nothing to me but a curse word or 5 in Lingala. Mind you this lasted for months. Then there was that time years later when I came back from Toronto with a pierced tongue and my parents were convinced that I was “on the cracks.” And yes, they really did say “the cracks.”

All my piercings aside, everybodys gotta rebel sometime. If you wanna get a tattoo sleeve and a genital piercing then by all means, do your thang boo boo. In fact, with all the tongue splits and devil horn implants out there, very little surprises me anymore. Well, at least that’s what I thought until yesterday when my cultural virginity was sliced in half and violently hung from a tree. Now I’m the one mumbling shit in Lingala.

Mid-afternoon I get a call from my dear friend Mixxy Mulatto who was out at some gutterbutt dive bar the night before with our routine drinking buddies, the Detroit Derby Girls. She told me it was the same old shit- PBRs, Jameson, derby, derby, derby- until she ran into a friend of a friend. For now, let’s call him OMG.

OMG is a tattoo artist in town from Miami and, as most boring Miami people do, he claimed to know all the guys of Miami Ink. Like she cared, Mixxy sat through 15 minutes of “Kat Von D is a slut” and “Chris Nuiz and I were out drinking” before she even noticed the dude was bleeding. Out of boredom she just happened to glace down at his lower leg and there was a huge red stain.

Blood had been dripping down his shoe for God knows how long so, given the opportunity to liven up the conversation a little, Mixxy asked about his leg and to her surprise, OMG was not a gunshot victim. Instead he was into this thing called scarification.

Say what?

Yea, well, apparently scarification is this new form of body modification (or mod, as the children are calling it nowadays) where they carve the skin off your leg into some design so that when it heals it looks like permanent henna. Fuckin’ gross. And for serious, if your first thought isn’t “oh my Jesus, these chilluns have gone ‘n done it now” then I suggest you stop reading right here because clearly you’ve got that extra brand ‘o crazy too.

For those of you still with me so, like, yea… That’s what the children are doing today and, of course, in typical white people swagger (because as you know us coloreds ain’t even tryna be down with this mess) they had to take it to that next level. Its called nullification and because I am stupidly curious, I found this website with some pictures.  If you’re brave enough, have a look but just to let you know that by brave I mean I would jump out of a plane right now if you dared me kind of brave:

 http://www.bodymod.org/mods/list-mods.asp?type=hc&Mod=Nullification

Riiiiight. So let me clear this up. That’s amputation. They are  straight up AMPUTATING their fuckin’ appendiges for fun and trying to pass it off as a new art form. And most of the amputation is of the penis!!!!! Now can somebody tell me who the hell is putting crack rock in these people’s water because that is the only explanation I can think of for this kind of shit. And don’t even try to pass this off as some African tribal ritual because chiiiiiiild, this ain’t nothing but little Tommy playing Zulu in his back yard with a razor blade.

I can’t take it. If this ain’t the craziest shit you’ve ever heard then feed me mayo and call me whitey ’cause I don’t know what else to do. Next they’ll be switching up their limbs and putting their arms where in the holes in their legs used to be?!?!?! I feel like someone raped my eyeballs. Nayokite.

xoxo,

Lady Half-Breed

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6 Responses to “Some Next Next New New Type Ish”

  1. mic check 1,2,1,2 Says:

    wow thats crazy, nothing seems to surprise me anymore

  2. exclusivelyexclusive Says:

    This picture is making my skin crawl. Get it off!

  3. seher Says:

    ughhhhhhrrrreaiopraj-[04qwir-024. blech.

    psychomania.

  4. connykate Says:

    I know…barfy!!!

  5. Cherry Says:

    Oh my god…that is fucking sick! Fucking disgusting, these people must obviously have some type of mental illness…either that or they are truly possessed by demons. Self mutilation is not an art form! And seriously…how are they going to have sex after this??? Are they fucking sexless now??? just morbid…sorry that’s my rant, ewwww

  6. GreatTattoosNow Says:

    Okay that is just sick you are right. However, don’t pass tattoos off as sick like this. It is a wonderful art form. Just a few freaks have to take it to the extreme.

    Here are some great decent looking tattoo designs that celebrate the art form….
    http://hosted.zango.com/affiliates/lp/webcam/webcam.htm?ref=51008

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