New Play Husband: Calvin Harris


Calvin Harris is the definition of “fuckin’ right”! Meaningless, tinny electro is all the rage these days and you can’t go to a party sponsored by some clothing company you’ve never heard of and not hear a trio of overbilled DJs biting Flock Of Seagulls and calling it “new wave.” Bastardos.

But CH has got that good, good crack. He makes electro music you’d actually care to listen to while sober. A UK boy, he’s been making noise on the Bri-ish charts and with good reason as songs like “The Girls” and “Acceptable in the 80s” are profoundly, what’s real in these streets. “I like those black girls, I like those white girls…I like those mixed race girls,” all set to the rollicking synth rhythms of some fabulous sensual disco in the future.

His debut, “I Created Disco” is a tad pompous but it could be called, “I Sorta Fixed It.” A lil’ bit he is, clocking in at 23 years of age, a mere 20 days younger than Conny, he’s put together some proper, proper electro goodness. You need to get this ho in your life right now, seeing as how dropped nearly two monfs ago and you’ve missed the early buzz period to rattle off song titles like you’re some too-important-for-words tastemaker. You already suck, so lessen the suckyness and buy his ish now and redeem yourself.

Where’s my fuschia wig and tights?? I’ve got some seducing to do…


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