“I Was There” Files: Common Folk Mask Party


Last night was…yeah…

For whatever reason I was like, “It’s Extra Fuck Up My Life Day!! Yay!!” Even though I had an adorable time the night before with some shady Nigerian playing checkers and discussing fufu and such, Thursday night all that good stuff went out the window. So on my way to my friendly neighborhood record release party I stopped in on Jose the Good Pimp who rightfully plied me with four glasses of wine before I even set foot in one the 400 open bars I planned on pillaging. Eventually I made it to Eternia’s mixtape release jump-off at Plan B which was all types of hood. Suffice to say I stayed long enough to say “I was there.”

Then I went to Fancy Jam at Gallery Bar and that was all types of overrated. I’ve heard mucho buzz about this goddamn place and we get there and it’s just like any other craptastic alley passing for a bar in the LES. Paper magazine was all, “it’s a synergy of art and nightlife, Manhattan’s lifeblood” or something. It’s a bunch of scenester-ass, jank-ass hipster-lite mofos (not even real dirty, grimey hipsters!! like stank-ass Urban Outfitter bitches!!) not dancing and swaying to horrible pub music. There was all this amatuerish, stank-ass graffiti art on the wall that looked like a teen runaway on the Sparks would show at a craft fair. Fuckin’ horrible.

Finally we get to Home Sweet Home and the shit is rowdy. They had a Sparks and Vodka open bar. I’ll give you a sec to marinate on that (maybe you wanna go back to a few of my posts and relive my cracky relationship with the Sparks)…

See shit like, a Sparks open bar is not what a room full of jank-ass hipsters need in their lives. That’s like a bunch of heroin addicts getting together and having a heroin open bar. Sure, that sounds great to them, because they’re fuckin’ junkies. After some wily concoction i drank from a plastic cup (mind you, they don’t serve drinks in plastic cups at Home Sweet Home) I was crazy in the DJ booth where DJ Johnsville was spinning in this crocheted jump-off that was out of sight. I was having a hard time. Mind you it’s about midnight and I’m on my eight drink in four hours. Stupidity. I wish I could tell you more but I basically ran out with the Sparks coursing through my veins sending electric crack waves to my liver and flying down the F train, nearly missing my stop and running home to bad, bad Brooklyn.

But check out Johnsville photo recap of (one of) the night I lost my mind. Thank buddha I knew good enough to duck the cameras…



3 Responses to ““I Was There” Files: Common Folk Mask Party”

  1. johnsville Says:

    The truth will set us free. Beach party coming soon by the way…And yes iI will be playing “The Thong Song” respectively.

  2. connykate Says:

    You better!

  3. Lady Half-Breed Says:

    So, what you’re telling me is that a Sparks open bar is the only way to get hipsters out of the LES and back on the whatever Brooklyn bound train they belong?

    Oh cool, ’cause I’ll be that person in skinny grey denim holding their liver on the C train next to a crackhead covered in his own piss. Hope to see you there.

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