Because we all know one. He was the poor Polish kid in the hood-ass high school shaving lines into his head and wearing $3 dollar gold chains. He was the annoying, schlubby kid always trying to get in the mix, foaming at the mouth and waving his one rap CD in your face. No matter how much you talked like a white girl, enjoyed fool ass ofay music or got played by Quintia and LaShawn at summer camp, in the end it was ok because you still weren’t a wigger. So I’m going to bid homage to the herbiest of the herb every week because I may be a blipster but I’ll never be a wegro. First in the ring is Michael Rappaport.
Michael Rappaport is the stuff of wigger dreams. I’ve never been so thoroughly annoyed by someone I ain’t ne’er met. You probably remember him from roles in Boston Public and other stale ass network sitcoms. But his role in Spike Lee’s Bamboozled certified his wegro-ness forever. He plays Dunwitty (Christ…) the TV exec who tries to exponentially coonify the New Millenium Minstrel Show, much to chagrin of the other colored but ultimately powerless TV execs. Essentially, just a powerful example of When Wiggers Go Wrong.
Dude’s pasty ass was made for that role. He’s a clumsy actor who’s always wildin’ out like he’s about to pledge somebody. But Mike is hardcore with his negro dick-riding prowess. He’s always showing up to events in a fitted cap and some Marc Ecko like they giving away free street cred cards. He’s just a fugly, melanin-challenged mess. I know I sound salty like he done stole my favorite puppy but illl…dude is a problem.
Above is a pic of Mikey at some event trying to be down. Ill…I just wanna punch the paleness off him. Shit…