That Bitch Done Got The Crazy: N*gga Bullshit

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Apparently the negro hipster community has voiced concern over my use of certain language (aka hating on my shiny ass because they’re porch monkeys in skinny jeans). One such negro approached me on AIM recently on the issue:

Afrikabamhaytah: We need to talk about your new expression
Afrikabamhaytah: me and the color contingency of Williamsburg
Afrikabamhaytah: decided that you can no longer use the phrase “cotton picking” in any neighborhood that ends w/ burg
Afrikabamhaytah: or contains a significant amount of white people

Conny: Why are you trying to destroy me?
Afrikabamhaytah: We say that your destroying yourself
Afrikabamhaytah: and the colored community
Afrikabamhaytah: by using such language
Afrikabamhaytah: Continue and you will be disowned
Conny: is “fuck your couch” a racialized term?
Conny: I’m already disowned
Conny: the children left me in the forest a looooooong time ago
Afrikabamhaytah: who let you out the forest anyhow
Afrikabamhaytah: who said you could come out?
Conny: Chile, I’m still in the forest. I only come out to eat and party with my ofay friends
Conny: anyway your whole petition is null and void
Conny: you live in Williamsburg…
Afrikabamhaytah: and?
Conny: you might as well rep Salt Lake City
Conny: I live in real Brooklyn not play BK
Afrikabamhaytah: shut up
Afrikabamhaytah: I’m going to start a protest
Afrikabamhaytah: you better watch out
Afrikabamhaytah: or you’re gonna learn
Conny: I wanna see this
Conny: I wanna see your marchin’ ass in the street
Afrikabamhaytah: It ain’t to hard to rally                       Afrikabamhaytah: we’re going to exile you, oh [getting African]
Afrikabamhaytah: we will, oh
Conny: oh, I have left oh!                                                      Conny: oh, you wicked Nigerians!
Afrikabamhaytah: write a blog about it, oh                        

The moral of the story is never IM me because I will put yo’ nappy ass on blast and send people to fuck yo’ couch. But for serious, there are some coloreds who deserve some sideways looks. Take this “band” Nigga Bullshit. It’s actually kind of, really, like, totally disgusting. It’s like funny…but even I’m like, y’all might wanna simmer down a bit. It’s like peeing on yourself over the age of 8: It feels ok at first, because you really needed to get it out, but fifteen minutes later you’re like, “I just peed on myself.” I just linked a band called Nigga Bullshit.

Coal Black and De Sebben Dwarfs done woulda been powerful shamed fo’ me.

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4 Responses to “That Bitch Done Got The Crazy: N*gga Bullshit”

  1. Lady Half Breed Says:

    Jesus, hold me back.

  2. connykate Says:

    This is why everyone needs black friends.

  3. TifTifTif Says:

    I’m gonna fuck his couch.

  4. connykate Says:

    See, don’t rile up the negress…

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