Jesus, Just Pick A Side Already

kevin.jpg 

Lately, tastemakers have been assailed with samplers and “intimate listening sessions” from these two singer/songwriters who I already wish would choke on a chicken bone: Emily King and Kevin Michael.

 Seems the hot new soon-to-be-played thing is to be a biracial singer/songwriter and detail your trials and tribulations over bland acoustic sets. Yes, growing up mulatto is awful – your mom can’t comb yo’ nappy ass head, you have freckles AND eat fried chicken, your negro friends clown you when your nose turns red from the cold – it’s horrible. So, I get why you would write song after cotton pickin’ song littered with phrases like “caught in the middle,” “product of interracial love” or “the kids called mommy a n*gger-lover.” Only thing is, you’re supposed to keep these songs in a shoebox under your bed next your letters from your high school boyfriend and your dried up prom corsage. You don’t release such watery Paducah high school talent show drivel to the public. Yuuuuuck.

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Emily King is from NY, and Kevin Michael is from Philly. Genitalia aside, their main difference is the size of their half-fros, with Emily’s a bit more demure than Kevin’s “look at me, I’m ethnic!” birds nest. Sad thing is Kevin is ADORABLE! His press pictures have him looking like a neo-soul Swamp Thing but his beauty is actually what’s real in the streets. Emily is sweet enough but Christ, Alicia Keys has got that cute high yeller, talented New Yorker thing on lock. Also guitar music is for jokers.

Whatever. Maybe it’s just me, but lamenting about race relations like your living through Reconstruction when you’re really just feeling the cushy push of a major label marketing deal is just wack. It’s plain ol’ wack!

I reckon I had more of a point to this post than just shouting out the halfies in the house but, meh. I guess miscegenation for the music industry means mo’ money, mo’ money, mo’ monaaaaay! Although both children I will say, are genuinely talented.

Check out Kevin’s stupid song with Lupe “who needs talent when you can hustle” Fiasco on the MySpace and give Emily a hug too. You know those poor mixed nuts need the love.

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7 Responses to “Jesus, Just Pick A Side Already”

  1. oscargerardho Says:

    kevin is very strong,reheavy i love toomuchh

  2. connykate Says:

    Kevin is a tease…

  3. TayTay Says:

    YOURR SUCH A BITCH! thats soo Rudee!….stop talking about people who are trying to do something good with there lives..and start doing something good with yours!

  4. ConnyKate Says:

    Right, right

  5. connykate Says:

    Oh, but calling someone you ain’t ne’er met a bitch isn’t rude. Real recognize real, ho. Get it together.

  6. mike Says:

    ur so cute

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