“I Was There” Files: Terrence J Birthday

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Another day, another hangover. Last night was fool as me and my fellow alcoholic half-breed friend (who’s leaving New York! Boo!)  braved the monsoon to traipse through Chelsea for Terrence J’s birthday party. We deserved all the gaytardedness that went down that night.

And you know what? Fuck George Bush – I HATE BLACK PEOPLE! First of all, the party was sponsored by Hpynotiq. Let’s go over that again. HYPNOTIQ!! What is this, 2003? Are we shooting a video for “Hot In Herre?” Who the crack still drinks Hypnotiq? If you’re gonna go with ghetto Kool-aid colored liqueurs, Alize is always the way. You can at least together some Thug Passions but Hypnotiq is like a training-wheel drink that rightly went out of fashion many moons ago.

And if your party is sponsored by Hypnotiq…you just might be a splaboo. When you go to a soiree and the spirits are provided by Bombay Sapphire, Courvoisier, Moet and other real likka companies, the party is right. Alcohol just-a-everywhere. But with shit like Hypnotiq, fools can’t ack right. They gave out shots of Hypnotiq (which has the potency of Similac) and they cavity searched the shit out of my bag.

When you get searched at the door…chile…that’s the expected level of fool you’re in for. But they dug DEEP into my bag and lucky for me the contents made me look like I was trickin’ for dog treats. Chile, they rifled through, shining a pocket light on my broken compact, tax forms, condoms and Plan B pills (let’s not talk about Sunday night). Amazing.

I stayed for about 20 minutes, chatted up some folk then left under the stress of my low knee grow tolerance only to get drunken text messages that soon after I dipped, the bar was open and the party was fire. Great.

If you need me I will be face down with my head in the oven.

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2 Responses to ““I Was There” Files: Terrence J Birthday”

  1. exclusivelyexclusive Says:

    Who is Terrence J? I’m gonna have to google this negro.

  2. connykate Says:

    Terrence J is AJ 2.0. He’s the latest sexually ambiguous host of 106 & Park. Yeah…it’s really not that deep.

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