Black Hipster Profile: Angelina Jolie


Now, forget the fact that girlfriend technically does not have any splaboo blood that we know about. But judging from those lips I wouldn’t be suprised if she was just some wayward mulatto whose bloodline has been led astray over the years. Besides, she has more black children then Halle Berry, Oprah Winfrey and Condoleeza Rice combined — that oughta count for somethin.’

I’ve been itchin’ to do this one because none of our black hollywood stars are up to shit anyway. Ms. Berry is shopping her life away, Denzel is doin’ it for a senior citizen  and Whoopi and Cuba — no comment. And those are our Oscar winners.

Ms. Jolie has been holdin’ it down for the androgynous, half-gay, rebel-rousers throughout the nineties and before she was a globe-trottin’, rainbow-baby-collecting, ex-actress married to finest whitey ever produced, she was this:


Just another skinny bitch sitting on a toilet. If that’s not hipster credentials then chile, I’ll eat my $8 dollar vintage Oleg Cassini hat. But even after bringing awareness to Darfur, the Pakistan earthquake, and the general fact that life is bullshit everywhere else, at the end of the day, girlfriend packs up the kids and still has the ability to look like this:


You foul bitch. Can you calm down with the endless beauty for one second? Just one effin’ second!?!?!?

If you want to learn more and wonder where to get info about her, you live under a rock and I don’t care about you.


5 Responses to “Black Hipster Profile: Angelina Jolie”

  1. Angelina Jolie » Blog Archive » Black Hipster Profile: Angelina Jolie Says:

    […] (more…) […]

  2. Angelina Jolie News » Angelina Jolie April 8, 2007 11:21 pm Says:

    […] that we found via MSN, Angelina?s brother, James Haven, had this to say about what Brad …Black Hipster Profile: Angelina Jolie Now, forget the fact that girlfriend technically does not have any splaboo blood that we know […]

  3. connykate Says:

    What the…? Damn innernet

  4. LF Says:

    Upload Files

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  5. Felicia Says:

    Ya’lll are Hilarious!!!!

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