Because A Bitch Needs A Robot


Michael Jackson aka Princess Touch-A-Lot has arisen from the bowels of super-crazy reclusivity to be more crazy in public. Jacko’s not planning a concert or album but a 50 foot robot replica of himself that shoots lasers and roams the Nevada desert. I swear to Anna Nicole Smith I did not make that up. If I was that quick I’d be blogging from a G4 and splashing champagne on the stewardesses.

Yeah…I couldn’t even think of what to say so I reached out the public (aka my sister) for thoughts on this recent development. Here’s our heated AIM convo:

Sistah Enwird:  what kinda of crack is he on?
Sistah Enwird:  and where can I get some
Sistah Enwird:  seriously, he needs to start a foundation in my name and pay off my bills, set me up for life then go build stupid robots that roam the desert
Sistah Enwird:  wtf
Sistah Enwird:  this guy needs a hobby
Sistah Enwird:  seriously, I want to read news about Wacko collecting rare Asian rocks
Sistah Enwird:  not fucking tripping on bad acid and eating over ripe bananas with his pet monkey drawing up the plans on his new robot
Sistah Enwird:  that’s so effin stupid
Sistah Enwird:  he has WAAAAAAAAAAAY too much time on his hands
Sistah Enwird:  just think of it tho
Sistah Enwird:  Michael: “Hey Bubbles do you want any more naner mush?”
Sistah Enwird:  Bubbles:”aaaaaaaaaah ah aha ha aha aaaaaaaaaaah”
Sistah Enwird:  M:”yea, me neither I’m kinda full”
Sistah Enwird:  B:”naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah”
Conny: I can’t do this
Conny: I can’t even scroll down to partake of the foolishness
Sistah Enwird:  M:”Hey Bubbles I have an idea. Let’s make a robot to shoot lazers and walk around the desert in Vegas, then I can charge everyone 500,000 to come see it and we can buy you a new pair of Jimmy Choos to match your leather spank me hat
Sistah Enwird:  B: “mmmmmmmmmmmmmmaaaaaaaaaaah ah aha ha aaaaaaaaaah”
Sistah Enwird:  M:”I knew you would think it was a great idea, I love you Bubbles!”
Conny: I hate you!
Conny: why are you making commentary for the monkey?
Sistah Enwird:  why is Michael Jackson still alive?!
Sistah Enwird:  crack and heroin kill everyone else but that fucker
Sistah Enwird:  I want one of whatever he’s having
Sistah Enwird:  I’d like to be worth more than I could count in the rest of my natural life and come up with hairbrained ideas of life-like robots of me roaming Roxbury
Conny: yeah…yeah

Um…can I work at Yahoo! News? I swear to Anna Nicole I heard Lil’ Kim and Bigfoot are putting out a line of hot sauce.

Stock in Mr. Happy’s Crack Pellets should be through the fucking roof after this one.


3 Responses to “Because A Bitch Needs A Robot”

  1. exclusivelyexclusive Says:

    “I swear to Anna Nicole”–I love it! Michael is totally crazy. But I feel bad for the dude: his father jacked him up. I mean when ALL the kids in one family come out crazy, the parents have to be blamed. “Transformers: more than meets the eye.”

  2. connykate Says:

    I mean clearly he’s got that crazy that you can’t just shake off but who is endorsing this foolishness? The article made it seem like he had funding or at least some investor like, “Yeah Mike!! Do that shit!!”

  3. Your Sistah Says:

    Okay, you know going back and reading that convo makes it 10 times more out of control. I need a nap, I was really mad @ Jacko.
    I’m sorry but I can’t agree with you Sir Exclusively, everyone has effed up parents who take shit out on them, or push them to be the best. I.E. any gymnast… but come on now. A BLODDY ROBOT ROAMING THE DESERT! He’s on crack harder than Whitney was and if anyone is really his friend or sister (I’m talking to you Janet) they will help is CRAZY ASS OUT!

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