NOOOOOOOO…

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AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

Raphael why? Why would you do that? Anyone who knows me, knows that Conny pretty much plans to wed Raphael Saadiq like, now, like today. But now, Joss The N*gg*r Chasin’ Paleskin is gunning for my man!!

In general, Joss enjoys the chocolate and whatever, I can’t blame her, she’s got the likes of Pete Doherty to look forward to if she were to stay a proper POMY (Prisoner of her Majesty). All the bloggers have been losing their minds at this fine piece of intergenerational miscegenation and it’s just a hot ass mess. A part of Conny just died…and now she has to throw it up and mourn it.

Yeah, let me see that bitch in the street.

And Conny has a question for you all: Why did she and her little half-breed friend head to the lower east side and act like townies? Why did a bitch steal Bigfoot Ale from a grocer, smuggle it past a lobby full of flatfoots, eat half-baked somasas in the street and flirt an immigrant out of his falafel and his fries on a Sunday night? Like, what? Why did Conny’s friend get us out of paying a cover by noting astutely, “Jesus wouldn’t make us pay a cover.” And his hippie ass wouldn’t.

Jesus, Conny needs a hobby.

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3 Responses to “NOOOOOOOO…”

  1. ExclusivelyExclusive Says:

    Joss Stone cannot sing. She imitates black people; she doesn’t sing like them. She is an imposter. Why hasn’t she been exposed yet?! Amy Winehouse can sing circles around her even when she’s drunk. And what’s with the Flower Power get up? The 60s ended almost four decades ago. And Raphael? He’s been a mess since that Lucy Pearl “group.”

  2. AAAHHHHHH Says:

    You know!! Joss needs to sit her dolphin’ lookin’ ass down. Don’t she look like a dolphin? Am I on the crack?

    Although, I will say we don’t speak ill of the Saadiq in these parts. Lucy Pearl needs to get back together if anything. And Dawn’s group-leaving ass needs to not be releasing albums on QVC’s record label…How you gonna leave En Vogue, The Firm and Lucy Pearl to end up on Q Records. Stop the madness.

  3. Roland Says:

    It gets better…
    http://perezhilton.com/topics/joss_stone/joss_stone_fucking_for_tracks_20070316.php

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