“I Was There” Files: Hot 97 Annual Fashion Show

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Yes chile, I was there and it was a janky mess. My coworker hooked me up with last minute tickets and when I inquired how she obtained them, she disclosed casually, “ho-ing.” So, that was that.

First of all, I had never heard of this mess but shit if 34th and 8th didn’t look like some jolly plantation with all the splaboos swarming Hammerstein Ballroom. Secondly, my kind-hearted colleague gave me a floor ticket while she went up to watch the foolishness from a VIP box while I was in the floor with all the poor friendless nigras. So between the “fashion” show where FUBU-Roc-A-Phat showed the same tired denim jumpsuit and bedazzled halter in Hood Rat Blue they’d been pushing for the past ten years, watching Angie Maaaaaarrrr screw up shit (she’s still alive? wtf) and MISSING RICH BOY (!!!) I was too done.

Lloyd came on dancing in a silver mask and purple hoodie lookin’ like the Hamburglar in a Vegas revue and was hoppin’ around, fudging the dance moves and really doing nothing to prevent those inevitable ghey rumors. Omarion came on in some bullshit, straight from the Target, I-got-better-shit-to-do-than-impress-you-mugfuckers, hobo lookin’ outfit and kept yelling “HA!” throughout his set. If I was 13, I would have passed out but these days I need PCP to see the joy in fool ass singers like Omarion. I left trying not to knife myself just to end the madness earlier.

Oh, the children need prayer.

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2 Responses to ““I Was There” Files: Hot 97 Annual Fashion Show”

  1. ExclusivelyExclusive Says:

    This is hilarious. (I think I write this comment everytime I visit this blog). Lloyd is very woman-ish–check the new Get it Shawty video and that curly hair. I loved the song “You” but there’s only so far you can go with a liking a dude who speaks the same way he sings (have you heard him give interviews? You’ll be on the floor dying). What grown man’s voice sounds like that?

  2. AAAHHHHHH Says:

    Chiiiile, I watched an interview the other day and I was just like, what is his people on? They’re gonna let him sashay up to Hot 97 all ambiguously gay like that? He was limp-wristed and battin’ his eyelashes and making Michael Jackson look diesel. Like voice lessons or get him one of those talk boxes that make your voice all low because he be showing up to interviews all demure and shit.

    But, he is kinda super adorable though. I guess I got a soft spot for the closeted Ethernopian ‘mos.

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