The OOP: Obligatory Oscar Post


Dear Mr. Asian Man Who Sells Me My 50 Cent Bagel From A Tin Cart:

Can I have my morning carbs without the sexual harrassment? Your nominal English and generous lisp makes the situation no better.

When you greet me with a “Hey Thexy” at nine o’ clock in the morning and I have a basket of rigid chicken fingers to attend to, it’s really awkward. Thanks to you I have to go up the street to buy the same bagel for 65 cents just so I don’t  start the day feeling dirty.

You’ve ruined my life you dirty Chinaman,


Now that I’ve got that out of the way, on to the Oscars. One note — It was boring. Quincy and Rashida Jones (above) held down the Freaky Family Fashion Award of the night. Dear you two, never do anything again.


Jennifer Hudson showed up looking like a lost member of LaBelle


Although I did do a happy coon dance when she won.

Aaand aside from those boneless Cirque Du Soleil shadow people and Beyonce looking like she wanted to cut herself when JHud won that was pretty much it.

Happy End of Black History Month.


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