R.I.P. Everything


The passing of Santa Anna has inspired me to reflect on the endings of some other recent dynasties as well: Little Brother, The 5 Spot and Disco D.  I’m a hot ass mess and late as hell on all of these “news” briefs but I’m African (and therefore on asiatic, original black man CP time) so bear with me.

Little Brother announced last week that they are separating. 9th Wonder has jumped ship – presumably to feed hisself properly on that producer green – while Big Pooh and Phonte have to hope people who still remember The Listening will wanna fux with them. Those who know me may know I have an affinity (obsession has that nasty restraining order ring to it) for Little Brother’s Phonte. I just think he’s the best thing since orange pop (Detroit!) and I used to bug my one friend “in” the “industry” to slip my number to him. He said he was concerned for my mental health (i.e. Cockblaaawwkin!!) and wouldn’t slip my man the digits. Anyway, now Little Brother is a duo, they’re leaving Atlantic and they are officially the giant premature nut of current underground hip hop. I loved Foreign Exchange and I guess these fools are gonna keep doing stuff but…sigh…now I can’t be bothered to care. I’ll be too busy taking apart my Phonte shrine.

In other random sad ass news the 5 Spot in Philly burned down!!! Why do you care? Well, if you knew anything about MU-ZIK, you stank ass muthaf*cka, you would know the 5 Spot was home to Black Lily, the concert series that launched careers of Erykah Badu, Jill Scott, Dwele, Jazzyfatnastees and a whole bunch of other incense-burning dirty boho singers. It’s a personal blow because I have wasted many a fool ass night at that club. The memory that most sticks out is the time me and my girls underestimated the Long Island Iced Teas which tasted like tap water but had the potency of plutonium. I danced with a twin and her abnormally hot mother (please don’t ask me any questions…I, I really can’t even talk about it), my girl got completely wasted and puked all over the bathroom, I broke the handle of her friend’s Porsche and peed in a church parking lot. This was back when I had designs on becoming a professor (HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHA) and the next day in my summer scholars course I spent the morning puking in the bathroom and horrifying the librarians and then sleeping in an easy chair for three hours (once again with my headwrap falling off). Some things never change…


And Disco D checked out a few weeks ago as well. He unfortunately checked himself out but he was behind tracks by 50 Cent and pioneered Detroit Tech. DT is the regional version of Baltimore Club, Miami Booty Bass and Appalachian Bluegrass (ha, just checking to see if you’re on your toes). He was adorable and my girl said he was real sweet so sadness all around. He was 26.

“Disco D took his dick out and slapped me across the face…and I loved it”


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