“I Was There” Files: This One’s For The Hoes…Lloyd Banks at B.B. King’s

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Last Friday I went to a Lloyd Banks concert. I really should just end the post there and go flog myself for even entertaining such foolishness. The tickets were free from work and I wanted to maintain relationships, etc.

Lloyd Banks doles out the type of coon-ass music that once you turn 18 and begin to have responsibilities you lose your taste for. Most of my friends looked at me, first with disdain when they thought I actively sought out such foolery and then with pity upon learning my obligations. I could have easily Craigslisted those shits and have been $60 richer but I also thought the experience would be blog-worthy at the least (I s’pose that’s for you to decide).

I invited the last of my friends who still take joy in hip hop and we waited IN THE COLD IN TIMES SQUARE IN A LONG ASS LINE for 30 minutes (I hate New York!). We waited behind this kid from New Jersey who seemed like an amalgamation of everything that’s shitty about high school. He came out to see Lloyd Banks by himself from New Jersey and told us how he had to wait this long the DMX show (People still care about DMX? WTF).  Sweatshirt, Jersey and rap music…oh so sad.

Anyway, we get inside and Lloyd comes out and I realize that I’m 105. All these little children were screaming in my ear (“WE LOVE YOU BAY-BAY!!!”), takin’ pictures of fuckin’ nothin’, and singing along to his songs. First of all, I was really surprised the set was longer than two minutes cuz’ I only know of two tracks by that fool. And he’s screaming at all these 14 year old prostitots, foolishness like “where my hoes at?!” “who’s giving me head tonight?!” and other crassness one shouldn’t utter in mixed company.

Between all the cussin’, the forty other fools on stage who looked like they huffed gas fumes and a special guest appearance by Tony Yayo, I just needed to get my walker and get out of there.

Kids today with their rap music and saggy pants. The whole thing was wiggity wiggity wack.

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