$40,000/Year To Be Failed By A Felon


Penn alumni rock! We’ve been making headlines all over this bitch and not for nerdlinger bullshit like curing gynecological diseases or bringing water to starving Latvians.

We are being fucking foolish.

Exhibit A: Donald “The Do” Trump

If I’m a multi-billionaire, married to an Eastern-European tranny, and my job description includes pardoning slutbag beauty queens and yelling at reality tv contestants, I would not give two fried shits what Rosie O’Donnell’s hag ass is doing.

See more about the “story” here at ABC:



Exhibit B: My Box in a Box

So this video has allegedly been burning up internet airwaves as a parody of the JT’s “Dick In A Box” (which is easily the funniest thing SNL has ever done in life). Media outlets had been harassing them and as a member of the media myself I got the call from the higher-ups to track down the peeps behind it. Funnily enough, they’re Pennsters. That means, I suddenly half-care.

Check out of the foolishness here: www.myboxinabox.com

Exhibit C: Rafael Rob


I studied Econ at Penn so this foolishness does not surprise me. That whole dept is run by socially inept Nazis who couldn’t pass an ESL test given by Borat. Dr. Rob apparently bludgeoned the bejeesus out his wife cuz girlfriend was gonna dip and take the car, the kids and the everything.


On that note, holla class of ’06!!


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