Big Day Out Can Lick Me

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My life’s goal is not to lose weight, get a man, continue my education or take up some other loser notion of “success.” It is to leave the damn country. Australia’s music slutfest Big Day Out is one of those reasons.

I’m going to try to not nut all over my keyboard as I go over the selected lineup:

Diplo

Hot Chip

Spank Rock

Peaches

Lupe Fiasco

The Streets

and even an etc is necessary. Like, come the eff on! Why does America eat so much dick! Granted tickets would be $500 but I could be rollicking under the Aussie sun, getting coked up and licked down by strangers all while boogie-ing to of the some the craziest artists on this dustball we call earth.

 See America missed the whole rave/festival thing. We let the shit end with blue-haired, drug-riddled, teens in the pacific northwest carrying on it’s legacy. But festivals have evolved into these massive open air music orgies everywhere else in the world and it’s simply not fair.

Boo, America, Boo.

Even the trippy website is a good time. You gotta bite the mushroom until it spews fumes to enter. w.t.f.

www.bigdayout.com

In other news, the side of my vintage pumps just popped. I need money so I can buy expensive old clothing.

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