So. If you remake one of the funkaaayest songs in the galaxy and it sounds friggin’ awesome are you talented? Are you lucky? Are you even relevant? Are you just a conduit for coolness? A receptacle for radness? A tunnel for tubularness?
Is Rio En Medio worth talking about? Gorilla vs. Bear thinks so http://gvsbchris.com/letsgroove.mp3
Do they matter? Whatever.
So Nas’ “N*gger” album is a whole big nasty problem. I don’t know (maybe I just don’t care) how I feel about that whole racial beehive. But NYOil is back with some foolery called “Wigga Wigger” where he shouts out the most divisive racial slurs like they were cuddly little…um cuddles. I don’t know what I’m talking about but you judge. What is this? Is it artsy or just fartsy? (Jesus, I suck at this writing stuff. Meh, it’s been a while).
NYOil – “Wigga, Wigger”
The world’s most believeable “straight” girl (ahem) Alicia Keys is doing this right with this right here – her School Daze homage “Teenage Love Affair”:
It be real cute and all but she ain’t touchin’ this here:
Now that’s how you wear a goddamn weave, rock a goddamn dress and ack sadditty.
You know what’s real in these streets? Alcoholism. Like, for serious. A restaurant can serve gasoline-soaked woodchips with Funion garnish for all I give a cotdamn, as long as there are bangin’ ass drink specials. Wednesdays at Anytime features all-night $1 well drinks which I now refer to as communion. If I’m meeting some friends for Sunday afternoon tea, I pick up a handle of Seagram’s on the way. You know, just for mothafunkin’ kicks. Everything is better, ( work, sex, violence, whatever), when the eyelids are a little heavy.
Anyway, the point is of this story, is well…nothing, really. I just wanted to hear myself type.
I do, however, have some related, kick-ass help for the broken-hearted: the ultimate blipster break-up mix. Too sad break-up music makes you a cutter and too happy break-up music just gives you a beat to cut to. Here’s a few songs that are distracting enough to make you forget your boo and to make your life a lil’ less stoopit.
1. “Hurricane Jane” – Black Kids
“It’s Friday night and I ain’t got nobodaaay, so what’s the use of making the bed”…If you want to feel pathetic-er than usual, you can wallow in this thrashy new wave gem and wail like the abandoned club kid you are. You big baby.
Or here:
http://www.giantstep.net/features/206/
This is my new column on GiantStep called The Resident. They have people with sticks who prod me into updating in a timely fashion so I’m less derelict here. Music, nightlife, goats, everything your heart desires…
