“I Was There” Files: Rock The Bells Festival

Tired. I was there and I was tired. But for good reason because the shit was downright amazing. Pretty much every hip hop head who mattered and was still alive was there. Fuckin’ right.

“I Was There” Files: Common Folk Mask Party

Last night was…yeah…

For whatever reason I was like, “It’s Extra Fuck Up My Life Day!! Yay!!” Even though I had an adorable time the night before with some shady Nigerian playing checkers and discussing fufu and such, Thursday night all that good stuff went out the window. So on my way to my friendly neighborhood record release party I stopped in on Jose the Good Pimp who rightfully plied me with four glasses of wine before I even set foot in one the 400 open bars I planned on pillaging. Eventually I made it to Eternia’s mixtape release jump-off at Plan B which was all types of hood. Suffice to say I stayed long enough to say “I was there.”

Musical Crack: Dude N Nem

Sigh. Dude N Nem…ok I can do this…Dude N Nem is this new group out the Chi with this rowdy tune called “Watch My Feet.” (I mean, why even try when it comes to band names these days. Why not just call yourselves Wangs and Thangs and make a songs about Honey Mustard versus BBQ sauce for dunkin’ yo chicken nuggets? Why do I feel like I just described a song that’s gonna make 106 and Park next week…)

Wait…why????

WHY AIN’T YOU MUGFUCKERS TELL ME??!!

What the hell is going on here? His name is Tay Zonday. Let’s say it together: TAY ZONDAY. With a name like that he musta vogued out the womb. And you wiley bastards kept him from me for this long!!! You kids can lick me.

Is he single? Let me see him on while I’m on the Sparks, I’ll change all that.

But on the real, real, did his voice freak anyone else out?

You have to be here, right now.

http://www.youtube.com/tayzonday

Get The Feeling…

 

Usually I don’t fucks with R&B. I don’t know why it exists today, I don’t know where these children find this powerful crack rock but I can’t take too much of it. But the bump on this new track by Timbaland acolytes The Dey is powerful sexy. It’s definitely the typical Timbo electro bass booty beat with somebody’s average-ass vocals but the shit is catchy, mang! CATCH-EE! Watchu thank?

The Dey “Get The Feeling”

http://www.sendspace.com/file/k23eyo

The opening isn’t stellar but eventually you realize it really works. And aren’t they some fabulous little splaboos…

WALE!!!

In honor of my visit to DC (shouts to Ms. Harris and all her alcoholic southern-fried friends on the hill. Next time I need to eat and drink my self stoopit, I got yo numbas), I’m gonna get at some chillun I’ve been meaning to big up for like, I don’t know, my whole life.

Chillun You Oughta Know: Miss Nana and Rasheeda

 

You know how spotting a non-crackity female MC these days is like seeing a dinosaur riding a unicorn and smoking rock with a dodo bird? I mean Foxy Brown’s all out her cotton-pickin’ mind (I saw homegirl on Atlantic ave with 12 lbs of ratty weave and she’s either a closeted marsupial or up the duff she needs to let out a hot ball of fire), Eve is teetering on tranny-queen territory with her airy rhymes and niptucked look, and Lil’ Kim is…jesus…we just gon’ stay prayed up for that one.

Read A CotDamn Book!!

Dear Black People,

Get it together.

We can do better.

“I Was There” Files: Camp Lo @ Element

So my childhood dreams walked out of 1998 and onto the lower east side on Monday night when I saw Camp Lo perform at Element. It was the after party for United Trade Show I believe. It could have been the after party for Ajax Sniffers Anonymous and I really wouldn’t have cared. I nearly exploded when I heard the bump from those epic horns on “Luchini” and literally ran inside, pushing mushmouthed fools out the way to gaze at Sonny Cheeba and Geechi Suede.

Lucid Dreamer Returns

 

You know how your love life is gaytarded? Luci Lu has got some flava to help combat those ice-cold sheets or turn your walk of shames into walk of fames. Holla!

Dear Lucid Dreamer,

Before I was this big ho. I mean, a pulse and place and I was ready to go. But recently, for no reason, I’m not interested in arbitrarily humpin’ around. What happened? Did I catch the ghey? Does sluttiness expire? Help!!!

- Reluctantly Behaving Myself