Someone Has Daddy Issues…

This was basically the only thing that made me smile today. Luckily, it was quite effective.

When Afrophiles Attack!! Dun, dun, dun…

There are many perks to being African. For one, I never pay for cabs (this may have to do with the way I stumble into taxis in the middle of the night affecting some crunchy Ghanaian accent and pretending I just won the green card lottery and I’m trying to get some fufu from my auntie in Brookleen.)

That Bitch Done Got The Crazy: Alexyss Tylor

Oh my god. I had been getting this video from mad random mo’fuckas (for whatever reason, err’body thought about me while watching this…) and chile, praise him that I finally buckled down and gave this a looksee. PRAISE HIM!!

Where Is Billy Ocean?!?!?!

Am I the only one who used to dance around wearing frilly socks while my dad played “Carribean Queen” on loop for hours at time? This is why my life sucks now. There’s no Billy Ocean telling me to get into his randy 1984 hooker-red convertible.

Pass That Ghey

 

Ooooh, chile, let the black woman hysteria commence! Get ready to fan yo’ self with yo hat, get yo’ neck roll and finger-snapping game straight, and start workin’ those lip muscles to spout “Holy Jesus!” every three seconds ’cuz it is on!

Look Who Done Joined The CrackSpace!!

Yes, Conny has conformed. There’s no such thing as integrity these days — just ruining your life via the MySpace.

www.myspace.com/connykate

Oh my god, I have a MySpace URL. I feel so dirty. Let the e-drama begin.

That Bitch Done Got The Crazy: Beth Ditto

Yeah, I’m starting new category because it so real in these streets and these bitches need their own clickable category where I can make excessive foolishness easily available.

“I Was There” Files: Lloyd + Mya Dodge Avenger Blah Blah Blah

Yeah, so Conny’s bored and decided to throw up a few pennies about this splaboofest sponsored by Essence magazine and Dodge Avenger where Lloyd and Mya performed. That mess was boooorrrr-iiiiiiing.

Skurban???

 

Dear Corporate America,

Way to be mad late and ghey about the stylistic convergence of hip hop and skateboarder culture. Fine, maybe you didn’t see it coming because you’re crusty ol’ fogies caught in the hinterland of Middle America but yo, did you have to like make everything totally awkward and come up with the gayest, suck-my-ass term for this “new” development of cross-cultural marketing hybridization? SKURBAN???

Why? Eat a dick.

xxoo,

Conny.

Do Da Heizman On Dat Ho!

I been meaning to post up this negroidian mess by The Heizman Boiz about two months ago when I first saw it thinking it was a fun, knee-slappin’ country aberration but this shit is actually what real in the streets. Clearly, the streets suck.